The Deeper Side
Last Friday I gave you a quick recap on my crazy week. I guess you could call this Part 2… It’s certainly the more important side of things. So, let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?
God’s been really pressing hard on my heart this week. He’s been revealing a lot of things to me that I didn’t even know I had problems with. I feel like the second part of that verse in Ecclesiastes: “There’s a time to build, and a time to tear down.” It’s good, but it’s rough.
Just a few things: One of my coworkers is on a trip in Europe now. She left Wednesday. Both Sunday and Mondy, I worked with her, and both time, I had a chance to try and bring up the topic of religion and where she stands (I don’t know where it is, but I’m pretty sure she isn’t Christian). I didn’t. I deeply regret it, and I hope God either brings someone else (braver), or gives me another chance (does He do third chances?).
Tuesday, at Junction, there was a panel discussion based off of a sermon we watched last week by John Piper about serving and following God in the minute details of our lives (“Whether eating or drinking, or whatever you do, do it to the glory of God” [emphasis mine]). At one point, the story of the rich young ruler who struggled with selling all his possessions to give to the poor came up. The question was how that applied to our lives. There were several excellent responses, but the one that stuck in my head was actually a question. If God asked me to give something up for Him, would I? I could sense God asking me the question. The conversation went something like this:
“So, Greg, would you do it?”
“Yeah! Sure I would!”
“Ok… You’ve got five dollars in your wallet. Would you give that up?”
“Sure, yeah, I’d do that…”
“Are you going to drop it in the box on your way out?”
“…Um… Yes?”
I had a brief chance to, but I didn’t. That’s stuck with me, and I can’t believe I didn’t trust Him in that. I didn’t even need to worry about it. But I held on. Why should He trust me with anything if I’m going to be like that?
And that’s the heart of the issue, I think… Trust. All this time, in every situation, God has been asking me to trust Him. Trust the results, the methods, the timing, everything… to Him. And I’ve struggled with that on a deep level. He’s asking me to not worry about what’s going on… Whether the future, the present, things already past, or anything. It’s not necessary for me to worry about it.
Yet I persist.
I guess I need to return to Matthew 6, and take every day…
…One step at a time.
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